Aj. (the_cheeseman) wrote,

  • Music:

...you were on the Indianapolis?

So you want a tell-tale sign that something is just a little off kilter in your life?

It's when you find yourself up at five-thirty in the morning, eyes streaming tears because they ache and tire, yet you are lost in the two-year old journal entries of friends it feels like you hardly know any more.

I need to find a job, or take lots more classes, or Something soon, because all of this time is going to break me in half.

I just...

So there I am, swimming in the thoughts and words of people who existed in 2004, and I find that they are gone now. Some for better, some for worse.

It's like, if in this entry, I were to write something to the affect of:

"Man I just can't stand not eating right. I can't wait until I live by myself and eat awesome!" (which is a true thought of mine).

And then, in the year 2009, a friend looks back at this entry and sees that, and then thinks of how bad AJ OF 2009's diet is, and how full of shit he was back then. I feel like that with many of my friends past selves, as well as my own 2004 Aj. 

I just feel like it's frustrating to watch someone struggle through something and hope they get through it, with full knowledge that they did nothing to change the situation that they are talking about, and etc. Also, another huge part of me reads these inner things and goes: "IF I ONLY KNEW!"

So that sucked to trudge through.

Kate comes home wednesday, and Life begins anew.

Tori contacted her today, and in an unprecedented show of valor, apologized. Is this part of some new diabolical plan? Who knows? But I for one am going to take it a sign for things to come. Hopefully good things. (Insert 2009 Aj-Friend smacking their forehead and sighing. "If only he knew...")

I will reconcile with ian soon, if only to get my stuff back and feel like my loose ends are lessening. 

Nick, Papa Murph, Kyle Coyne and thier ilk want to film the vampire script I wrote (2/3rds of) when i was a senior in high school. Re-reading and working on this script has been fun and enlightening, and I really do think i had a knack for writing scripted comedy back then. Now, I am far too jaded and overanalytical to be so randomly clever. Boo.

Jaws is possibly the best movie ever.

Spider-Man 3 had a twist scene, and that brightened my heart immeasurably. 

Part of me will miss Allen Hall. It was usually nice to me, an always provided interesting noises whilst I was in the bathroom. (ex.-peeps puking, having sex, puking)

If a time-traveler came back and said I need to kill facebook for the good of mankind, id kiss them.

Every time I sit down to write a story, the result is a very random slice of suburban life. It sems as if those are the ones I do best, for whatever reason, and choke on the ones with strangeness afoot. I mean to remedy this soon. we'll see though.

I can never remember the name of the guy from the office(british)/hitchiker's guide. Martin Something. Freeman. Damn it.

That dangerous, dark undertow of missing people is whirling around beneath my skin. Maybe it's the oncoming summer. My Summers are usually chock full of people. hmm.

My mother is gone for a week. then so are my brothers, for a few days. I wonder what i'll muster.

This weekend I fell asleep to: kate's long, long, long, arms wrapped like branches and scrunched nosie, Michael van howe's oddly rhythmic snoring, kate's adorable knee in my hip, the light of shannon's laptop, and katie's spotted pajama'd rear end, respectively. Once home, the sights and sounds were far less interesting. usually the hum of computers and the twittering of morning birds. marty sleeps through the night now.

i think i may ned to force myself to end this, as its coming on six o clock, and at this rate, i'll be at this all night.

so hmm..

i'd like to raise my proverbial glass for a toast to the days, weeks, months to come.

Good luck.

and to future AJ?

Fuck you. I'm trying.

be seeing you.

and yes, yes, yes, I can't wait to see...


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